Hi guys...gonna try and kee it brief...I am tired and really not functioning well at the moment.

I told you guys that they changed my meds to the fast release seroquel rather than the XL I was on. Anyway, I abused my meds again.....taking a heap more than what I should have. My CPN came today and after what recently happened she asked to see my meds. I couldnt believe she asked me but she did. She counted them and could see i had been abusing meds again so she gave me enough to do me until tomorrow and is now coming to see me daily to give me my meds for the day. I have been having 'thoughts' about suicide but recently they are becoming stronger. I am in no way saying I am going to try and do it but just that the thoughts are becoming stronger. And to top it all of my husband is being a jerk so I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore. Sad, its our wedding annivesary tomorrow. We are not talking and I feel as though I am living in my own personal hell. I just cant stop crying on and off. It all feels very hopeless at the moment. AND I cant sleep I am sick of it really I am.