So after a long conversation with my T about some family drama and resolving that what I did was in fact the right thing...we moved on. We moved on to her favorite question something about me getting out and well I hadnt left the house in a week. Which brought the question why. To which I stated I didnt want to. She talked for a few then asked why I didnt want to. i replied I dont know. She babbled some more(i was having a hard time keeping up). The babbling eventually led into a statement about how her(my T) and my Pdoc dont think I have reached my potential. That leading into comments about how if I am doing things for no reason and they are self defeating/self sabatoging how much do I really want to get better. I dont know that I believe this will ever get better or something along those lines. She said alot then said I need to figure out what it is sub conciously that is propelling this behavior. What do they mean I havent reached my potential? What potential is there in regards to the recovering from the depression(which is why she wants me out and about)? Im doing the best I can right now and if it is not good enough then f* them this isnt as easy beezy as they would like to make it sound. It is like she doesnt even realize with her stupid phd the absolutely crazy struggle that goes on to get myself to do anything. I cant believe I feel like I am being beaten when I am already down...way way way down....what good does this do me.