Today is once again 6 months sober for me. I've hit six months several times before - actually it's usually at around 6 or 9 months that I tend to relapse, so I'm being extra careful.

I do feel happy that I've reached 6 months, but i don't quite feel like I've really done it on my own. See since I've been unemployed, I've been voluntarily going into the hospital 3 times a week to take my anatabuse under a nurse's supervision. This makes sure I don't go off it, and so can't drink. I'm doing this because I'm under a lot of stress about job hunting and when left to my own devices I have a lousy track record of going off it and drinking. That being said, I've also been really committed to going to AA meetings and incorporating the women for sobriety program into my life.

The last 6 months have been weird. When I got fired from the hospital I delliberately made the decision not to job hunt so I could focus on recovery. That is so not me. And it felt really scary. So I repeated rehab, which was the right decision, did a program on mindfullness meditation which is really helpful and did a CBT group for social phobia. I feel like I've worked really hard on myself.

But i'm also scared. I'm close to a couple of jobs so I'm hoping that one of them will come through and i continue to send out resumes. But it's scary - if I don't get a job by the end of Sept. I'll have to take money out of my retirement savings. But I'm trying to take it one day at a time.

Thanks everyone here for your support, and I hope to post in 3 months that I'm still sober.

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