Thank-you Sannah - I never learned to express my feelings in a healthy way - dad's feelings were always more important than anyone elses and our purpose was to please and appease him and my mother just never shown nor talks about feelings. It was my birthday this week and she gave me a little card with a heart and a beautiful poem - words that she could never say to me herself. I forgive her, I think she did the best she could and actually herself maybe never learned to express feelings as a child.

I haev two kids and like you say they are sooo different. I can see myself in the younger one, he feels things so deeply and will get very upset about those same things several days later if reminded. I cuddle and acknowledge hsi feelings regardless - my mother and father talk about how I was like this as a child and how they laughed at me and would bring painful things up in the company of others, like putting me on show to perform. I am so glad I can show my own son a different way.

Wysteria - I like what you wrote about emotionally unbearable states in reaction to events - yes I think I can generate unbearable feelings.