I have got to the point that I will have to ask my sister for a loan, or I will start defaulting on bills withing 2 weeks. She would make me a loan and I don't think she would mind. I've done it for her in the past. What I don't like is that it would allow her to know how low I got financially. She would know I would have to be broke before I would ask her for a loan.
That's not exactly true. She knows I would ask to borrow from her before I would ever go to a place that charges huge interest rates, like those payday loan companies. Places like that have been sending me offers of loans. But I would not borrow from a place like that. I would chose default first. So me asking her won't necessarily tell her that I have exhausted all other avenues. I haven't. There just aren't any other sensible avenues. So she would figure that out. She would figure out that I have no savings. That might surprise her, but probably not a lot. I did let her know back awhile ago that I was out of work, and had been for an extended period.
I'm in better shape mentally to get a job now than I have been at any time in the past year. I have to overcome my fear of the work arena and put out applications/resumes. Some places tell you to download an application, fill it out and walk in with it. I think I could face that now.
I thought I would ask my sister to send me a check for one thousand. I could ask for more than that, but I wouldn't. That would get me through possibly until November. That should be plenty of time to find a job.
If I don't find work by then, I would let myself default on my debts. I would just pay my rent, cell phone, and internet. I need the last two in order to have any hope of finding a job. I would disconnect my land line and satellite TV. My TV is only $26/month cause I get just the cheapest thing they have.
My unemployment check would pay my rent and utilities and cell phone and internet. Well, it might be a little short. I'm forgetting about gas for the car.
I will get my tax rebate probably in October. I am still grateful to the poster above who reminded me to get going on that. I got all info together and dropped it off with accountant just the other day.
I'm trying to keep from having a mental breakdown as I am writing this. I won't be homeless, as long as I get unemployment and I will probably get that for another 6 months. Surely I will be working before then. Now I am falling apart. Now I am silently sobbing. Funny how long experience with being depressed let me learn how to cry and sob even without making a sound. My throat hurts now.
I have been regained being undepressed and have been diligently getting organized. My apartment is like a different place.
I guess I will email my sister tomorrow morning. I can't face it right now. It's really not that big of a deal. I have never been a drain on any one in my life. (and I have bailed out others)
I have to keep doing like I've been doing, which is getting much better mood-wise. I will go to work on job specific resumes tomorrow where I can get help on that. Having little computer skills is making things difficult. Help is available though. I will start a schedule of being down where I can get help and I have to commit to going faithfully. Even non-mentally disturbed people are out of work. That's what makes me scared.