(((((((franki))))))))

It sounds so painful and scary, to want so badly for therapy to continue, but to not know what's going to happen.

I wonder if it would be a relief to talk about it, no matter WHAT the answer is? I know that I make things way way worse in my head when I worry about them than when I just deal with what's in front of me...even when what's in front of me hurts, and is something I just don't want to deal with.

It sounds like you have a good T, and like you've worked really hard in therapy, and like the two of you are a really good fit. It really would be hard to let that go. Hopefully your T is skilled enough that when your therapy does end (because we will all be done with therapy eventually...), she will know how to make it a good ending instead of a bad one.
to you.