It's sort of cathartic to post here every once in a while. I know I don't participate in other things on here. I guess it's just silly self pity that keeps me from looking around too much and seeing that other people have real problems also. A lot more than mine too sometimes.

This is one of those really bad days. I want to tell the world things that I am apparently not allowed to say on here and I know I don't mean them, but still it's good to let it out, ya know...? Screaming at walls and computer screens can help sometimes. Help you cope and work through it all. Bad words and worse thoughts bring the world into perspective for me on occasions like this.

It's 1 a.m. and I sit here wondering if it's worth trying to make it in this world, or if I should sit in the closet and just read in the dark. Ignoring all the pressure outside the door. Outside in the real world, where you either make it on your own or you're dust on the trail.

I have to make decisions that I swore I would never make. And accept things that I swore I would never accept. ******. Really ******. But I guess it's time to man up as it were and take what I can get. beggars, choosers. You know the game.