I have th same feeling as you, Kellarella, a feeling of not quite being there, not living in my body, not experiencing the things that really are going on around me..it's a scary feeling of not being in my very own body. When things start to go better again, then, slowly, I feel more about the here & now instead of my past, in my past my kids were ripped away from me. I'm learning more and more not to live in obssession of my issues, not build a wall between me and the world.