I don't know where to start, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. It's been wonderful with normal arguments here and there but very rarely and hardly ever real fights. Until recently. It seems we may be falling apart. A few weeks back I had a siezure, followed by 2 more smaller ones. I'd never had them before that I know of. It sent me slightly into depression since it's changed my life a lot now. I can't do anything I want, can't drive... But I'm really trying to look at things more positively and feel like I've been doing a good job. But I don't know if this is the cause for the fight. He's mentioned it saying "It's not my fault you can't do anything" when it wasn't what we were discussing.
But he says that he's upset because he can't play drums anymore. He says that he feels like I will get mad at him if he goes to play drums (I have before but not always gotten mad, it depends on if we have plans and he cancels them or if I'm having a bad day and just want to spend time with him). He says I'm stopping him from living his life the way he wants to live his life because he doesn't have time for the drums anymore. I have a 3 year old daughter I can't be at all of his band practices and when I would rather him stay home with me since he works till 6 every night and we moved in with his Grandmother (HIS choice) I would much rather not spend the entire day and night by myself every night of the week. He's also in night school so he hopes and plans to go to night school and the nights he's not in school go to band practice. Where does that leave me? Should I just accept it and not care that he is gone so much more than he is home? And it's his grandmothers home we moved into because he wanted to. That's the reason he's not playing drums. She doesn't want them at the house. I've been more than supportive with his drums. I've been at every gig I could possibly go to screaming and cheering. I've listened for hours daily as he practiced in our living room. He even started teaching me the drums. But now he's blaming me for not playing. No matter how much I try and show him it's not all my fault, he doesn't get it. Maybe it is my fault? I will admit I am clingy and want to be with him. I don't like when he leaves but I don't always get upset and when I do get upset often I get over it pretty quickly.
Then out of no where he starts talking about how I don't get him. I don't understand his attachment to dogs and why he loves his job so much. He says I'm afraid of dogs and don't understand him. That was my breaking point. I love dogs. I am afraid of dogs that I don't know and dogs that are not on a leash without their owners make me nervous but I am far from someone who dislikes dogs. We have a dog at his Grandmas that I take on walks multiple times a day. I mean come on. That's when it became clear that he is looking for reasons to be angry with me. Reasons to be upset with me but why?
A few weeks back, after the first siezure he and I decided we were going to get married. He said he wanted to wait until he finished school and we were on our own again doing better and I agreed. Sounded smart, exciting, reasonable and a good idea. It seems since then, or since the siezures I can't tell... Something has changed and he's becoming more and more upset with me and looking for reasons for it. He apologized many times last night, but with each apology he would say "I'm sorry but..." He was sorry for the argument but it was clear we are not seeing eye to eye on this. I don't know what to do. Don't know how to stop the fighting, how to stop his anger toward me. He blames me for something I don't think is my fault. What do I do? Please help someone, I'm lost and worried!!!!!