"Charlie'olts- Yeah I do remind myself that it is all in my head if I can when I calm down- But some times the screaming can over power my logic at times and I can break down.. :-/
Sometimes I have a hint of my mother yelling at me or being mean- but I am sure it is still me just in a rage that reminds me of her"

I know what you mean, sometimes its just too overwhelming. There has been times that I blare music in my house and have the TV volume up so I can be surrounded by noise to mask what I hear. I haven't found a good way to deal with it either. Just like you said, in my calm moments. All I can do is remind myself that there are certain things that "trigger" my episodes I guess you'd call them. And I have to do my best to stay calm when I know I'm going to be around something that could potentially trigger it. And I try to forgive myself when something unexpected happens. Having someone to talk to who doesn't judge what you are saying I've found is the easiest way to deal with it.. I hope you find a sense of calm. After all our minds are our own great frontier and it seems unfair when its not just you in there.