I was distraught for awhile this morning, but now I am doing housework and feel okay. I have found for weeks now that I must keep moving about doing something, even a little unimportant thing. I won't even sit in the tub for a bath, because that level of idleness allows my mind to get in a bad state. Showers are okay. I think I heard sharks are like that. They can't breathe unless they move forward, so they move all the time, never even sleeping, I guess. I don't see myself as a particularly shark-like character, but that moving thing being essential to survive - I don't know how I got like this. I was never quick to more. I would become idle when depressed. Now I'm afraid to idle.