(((Vanessa)))

I can really understand everything that you're talking about. My mom is very similar. We've spun around the tree to many times, and it is maddening!

Just recently, 3-4 weeks ago, I told her and my dad not to ever contact me. I need space, emotional and physical, from them. I do feel bad for my young daughters (ages 9 and 6), because I avoid seeing my parents completely. The girls do still have some contact with my parents, as my ex-hub uses them for babysitting regularly. But, for my own sanity, I needed to break that sick bond between us.

I wrote an e-mail letter to them, explaining that I needed space. That I was trying to work through dark memories from my childhood (things that have been haunting me for most of my life), which they & the rest of my family are intertwined with. So, don't expect me to call, write, or visit. I needed to do this for myself. And I left it at that.

I haven't heard back from them (or anyone else in the family), which is both a relief and worry. Like, I worry that they're saying bad things about me. ~whatever~ I can't let those fears stop me anymore.

Sounds like you did a similar thing with your dad, just not in the most polite way. And that's okay. It was wrong of him to encourage you to move back, but then not be there to actually support you when you got there! Aaaargh! I don't know what they're thinking when they make foolish promises like these, but it always hurts you for believing them. Maybe they're whimsical kind of people. Like they don't fully think things through before talking? I just hate that though!

Big hugs to you ~ I HOPE that you and your kids are able to get through this without a lot of trauma. I wish you the best. Don't give in to his grand ideas again either.