Thank you Shezbut. Your response sounded pretty on point. I had a feeling that the seizures could be what is causing this, it all started the same week as the seizures and has gotten progressively worse since. I got a referral from the ER the night I went in to see a neurologist. The nuerologist saw me, charged me to see him and then literally tells me he does not want to break the bank for an MRI since I don't have insurance. I tell him I will pay whatever I have to pay, make payments anything to get the tests but he doesn't want to. He told me to go back if I had another grand mal and I was on my way. The ER gave me 6 Ativan for stress and those are of course long gone. No one even told me what to look out for and what to do when it does happen, nothing at all. Only that "Yes you had a seizure" but that was the only information I got. Oh they did inform me at the ER that they had contacted the DMV to suspend my license for medical purposes for 3 years but that's about it.
So I made an appointment with the clinic that takes people without insurance. I made the appointment the beginning of August for August 16th (I think it was) they called me 2 days before the appointment and told me they had to reschedule for October 26th. I informed them of my situation and that I don't know what to do or where to go or anything at all, that I'm just stuck in a dark confusing hole, but they still can't see me until October 26th... I don't know what to do about that...

It makes sense that he would be upset and taking his anger out on me. Unfortunately... I guess I have to accept that. I love him and I don't want him hurting. I don't want to lose him and I can see how this whole situation is taking its toll on him. I guess instead of defending myself with him, trying to make him see that he should not be angry with me, I should just support him like I would want him to support me. I guess I haven't been very understanding. I guess I've been selfish worrying about myself the most, I must have put him on the back burner without realizing it.

Thank you again Roman! Your comments have been extremely helpful. The coments above have shown me that he probably is just taking his anger out on me because he knows I'm here. He knows how much I care for him and I'm not going to go anywhere and I'm not going to make him feel like it's his fault and I'm not going to take him down and make him feel worse. I don't want to do any of that. I just want this fight to be over. I want things back to the way they were before.

I had my daughter 3 years ago by my abusive ex husband. It was a miracle I got pregnant and will to this day tell anyone, yes it does only take one time to get pregnant. He and I had no sexual connection unless alcohol was involved and the day my daughter was conceived there was alcohol involved. Only one time (thankfully, and I have an incredible daughter to show for that cruddy night). I should have known, as they say with drugs, it only takes one time. It only took one time of trying mushrooms and it seems like it ruined what my life was. Not ruined my life, but ruined what I had and now I have to start over and learn to live all over again. All because of one mistake. It stinks.

I hope he and I can get through this. I'm going to ask him when he gets off work if he would mind if I wrote him a letter about it. I want us to be over this and back to normal. I'm going to think about what both of you said and try to figure out the best way to approach this and the best way to talk without argument about what is hurting us. Thank you so much for the responses. It is exactly what I needed and was looking for, understanding and an outside perspective so I can know what really is going on. Thank you so much again, both of you. I will write back in the morning hopefully with good news of our relationship. I'm praying. It's been so hard not knowing why he was upset, not knowing what to do... I have a natural reaction to fight to the teeth and when it doesn't seem to work I run. I've been fighting for over a week trying to get him to tell me, let me know why he's been do distant. It wasn't working and I was terrified but preparing myself to run. I was preparing for the worst thinking he would leave me any day, that he was done with me. I'm glad I didn't chose that, he's too important to me to give up on that easy. He's such a good man. I wish life didn't test us these ways...