my T wants to start mindfulness Monday.i haven't found much about it just a little and what people are saying here and i don't think i can handle it.i don't want to do it.am i just this messed up.my T is going to hate me totally.i just know i cant do any of this.i don't want to.i don't know why i don't want to but i don't and it is panicking and everything.i don't know why but i feel like i am loosing my T because of this .like she is tired of dealing with dealing with me.i just don't have any idea where all this fear is coming from .I'm sorry.i guess i just want to be miserable forever.i know my T would say that is a huge cop out but it just seems so true.it just feels like she is trying to disappear me