I have a tremendous fear of Speaking in Public so I know what you are going through. I've had it my entire life and I"m not 54yo. I can say a quick sentence or two or ask a question in a group, as long as it's a short sentence I can spit out without tripping over my tongue. But if I have to speak in front of a crowd for more then a couple of sentences, the anxiety hits me like a tidal wave. My heart beats out of my chest, I begin to sweat, my mind goes blank and I just seem to say things without any cohesiveness. At least, that's how I HEAR MYSELF. I fear that others see me the same way. I can't tell you how many tmes I've avoided doing things because of my fear of public speaking. So my advice to you is, conquer it now so it doesn't hold you back like it has me. There is a group called Toastmasters which is comprised of others like me and you who have a fear of public speaking. They meet anywheres from 1 a week to once a month and the purpose is to practice in front of them and get supportive helpful feedback from them. Now if only I would heed my own advice because I've purposely not participated in such a group because the fear is too much. But I know I should. Just yesterday, I had to speak for just a minute in front of all my peers about Hurricane Preparedness and what I was doing for my department and it was horrible. I jotted a few notes down on a piece of paper to make sure I address. We went around the room and the closer it came to me, the more my heart started to pound. By the time it came to my turn, my heart was jumping out of my chest. I managed to spit a few things out but my voice was shaky, I had to clear my throat a few times and I had no idea what I said. After my turn I wanted to crawl under my desk. Yet, as others spoke, I had no problem asking them a question. Only because I can spit out a very short sentence and seem and sound confident. In fact, I often ask a question after I settle down to prove to others that I wasn't nervous. But I look at others speak as if they were speaking to their best friend like it's no big deal and I envy them. It's embarrassing and it eats me up for days. So conquer the fear now. Get help now. Because if you don't, it will haunt you for a long time until you do conquer it. Good Luck!