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That is a very very hard thing to go through. Work lost is hard.
I guess my tip to not self harm would be to remember the memories of building and creating.
The work you have lost you can gain again.
Think or tap into those memories of the time when you were not aware of that part of you're life, where you have moved on from the thought of self harm.
Try to think ahead.
Good Luck.
I hoped this helped.
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