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Now nothing is wrong, the house is fine, i've taken all the actions i should have, and i'm crazy
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i call this the boomerang affect. after the stress is gone i used to go into a dither when everything got ok. AA gives us a red flag alert to remind us to not drink and be aware of the boomerang.
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but i can't help but consider that for the rest of my entire life i am expected to do everything completely sober
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we drink to escape from life. staying sober allows us to have a life.
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i think if i walk away now i can live alone somewhere and not hurt anyone too much
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have you considered the person you'd most harm/hurt is yourself?
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start trying to figure out how to drink
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we call this scamming yourself. it's denial that you don't have a problem with alcohol.
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im happier now than i've ever been and i'm doing better than ever, but when i start to follow my thoughts down this path it gets pretty difficult to remember that.
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i used to recall my last drunk and how my life was such a mess from drinking. that really helped. keep reminding yourself how far you've come sober.
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My brain forgets the bad sometimes
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selective memory. the alcohol is calling you.
i recall many years ago my struggling too. your post reminded me of why i stay sober one day at a time. my life has done a 360 sober. a trying day sober has never been as bad as a good day drunk. if you keep your focus on your goal you can achieve sobriety as many of have. i use AA still to help me and others, 21 yrs. later. it's a life process. i rarely even think about alcohol today. do you attend a 12 step program of recovery like AA? is so bring your struggles up at a meeting. we all have experienced what you're going thru in early sobriety. you'll get positive solutions of how to overcome this. and yes, you need to have the willingness to remain sober. congrats on your 7 months. it's a great accomplishment!
i wish you the best.