I am really uncomfortable recommending the depo shot to the moms I work with. I feel like the side effects are more long lasting and extreme than other forms. Have you ever considered getting the Mirena IUD or the Implanon implant? They last long term but have a lot fewer side effects and you can get pregnant and the side effects go away almost immediately once you get them removed. These are all progesterone only methods.

If you don't have a reason that would make estrogen unsafe there are also lots of combination methods on the market. The patch, the ring, the pill, etc.

Non hormonal options would be the paragard IUD, condoms, diaphragm, and cervical cap. Or Natural Family Planning (NOT to be confused with the rhythm method). I recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility if that route sounds interesting to you. This is what I am currently using.

As for your side effects, yes hormonal methods can cause some vaginal dryness which often translates to muscle stiffness (mainly due to the pain from friction). Mood swings, and weight gain are also common.

It sounds like you should talk to your primary care doctor or gynecologist about other options. You do not have to live miserable because of your birth control, there are so many, many options out there.