I longingly look at those who can freely hug - it seems so natural to them - for me to accept and enjoy a hug from my T, I would need to be a completely different person. I struggle totally with understanding intimacy and the difference between hugs and sex - I know hugging my T would be too confusing for me.

So do I desire them? I understand that I have a distorted view and that for some (most?) people, hugs are just a deep connection / understanding / friendship / warmth and for those people I think hugs do replace words such as I care about you, I am pleased to see you, you are in my heart. But for me hugs are perceived as "Wonder what boundaries I can cross?" and I feel a need to watch out for what's coming next - so in summary I guess the answer is yes hugs do replace words, but the hugger and hugged may be hearing different words from the hug.