Thread: Do Hugs replace words and is that one reason why we desire them?
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Old Aug 27, 2011, 04:06 PM
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dinosaurs dinosaurs is offline
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Location: on the path to healing
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ECHOES View Post
I was thinking about it today, enjoying a fantasy hug from my T ( ), the fantasy hug was offered by my T unexpectedly and my reaction was a teary Thank You, then a step back and a deeper heart-felt Thank You but I could say no more. I realized then that the desire for a hug right now may be that I wish I could express my gratitude verbally, but I am not able to. The 'why' of that is a whole 'nother expedition

But I know that when I can, I will treasure the words and the ability to express them.
thanks so much for this thread. i think what you say is so true - i had just never seen it that way before. i know for me the fantasy hugs are always initiated by me, never t. and they're always at times where i'm full of love for him or full of gratitude in how he has helped me. both of which are incredibly hard for me to say or even to find the words for. words seem insufficient to express what i'm feeling. so i definately think for me the hug is to replace those words.

thank you for giving me something to think about!
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He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.

Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.

Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so.
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Thanks for this!
ECHOES