Unfortunately one thing we all have to learn is that we can only control our own actions. You can't make him go to counselling if he doesn't want to and if he's not there by choice he probably won't get much out of it.

That being said, I can imagine how difficult it is to go through this more than once. Does he understand the devastation an emotional affair has on you. Some people try to push it aside saying "well we didn't have sex". Two books I suggest for you are
Not Just Friends -Shirely Glass
How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair - Linda MacDonald
The second one is really short (like less than 100 pages) but the first one is great too.

One thing that took me a long time to understand is that this has to go my way. If you tell him that you need him to do something, he needs to do it. He doesn't get to pick and choose the easy things off the list and have the relationship work out. Yes, he can choose to neglect things that I ask but then it's up to me to control the only person I can -me. Draw your line in the sand. Tell him what you need from him. Follow through. And consider marriage counselling.

Another thing, I'm wondering why he has the number for a sexual addiction therapist when he had emotional affairs? That doesn't seem to add up. I do agree that he needs to work on his boundaries and how he convinces himself this is ok behaviour