i have self esteem issues and able to admit. i see a million things wrongs with me, and i don't care how many people "compliment" me or claim they are jealous of my figure or face, because most of the time i believe they are being sarcastic or making fun of me and it hurts, there were times that i would hold in the tears and when i came home from school i would cry for hours. i ingrained the belief that i will never be the beautiful, skinny, modelesque girl into my head until the day that i look in the mirror and think that. and i also hate how because of these insecurities i have just faded into the background. i lost my personality and what made me interesting. i have no confidence, i don't speak up anymore, and i always look like im depressed. its just sad. but i just dont know how to fix myself anymore, i honestly cant remember the last time i felt happy anymore. im not an honest person anymore, this isn't me! i feel imprisoned in my own body, its like there's this evil sadistic part of me that enjoys making me feel worthless because i know that in the end its just me standing in my own way. many people including my family have told me that im not the same person anymore, my sister told me a completely different person who looks exactly like me has taken my place. she says she can see it in the zombie like way i trudge around each day, how obsessed i am with how the rest of the world sees me, and how i used to love being in the sun and now i cant stand the sight of it. so how do i fight against myself or this imposter who claims to be me?