I don't mean to crowd the general with all my stupid crap...but I need to say this, I'm hoping in some way it will help me, although it more than likely won't. No offense intended at all....it's just me, I'm unable to grasp even the simple things.

I think I am losing it.....losing reality.

I'm so so so so freaking low right now, the guilt has sunken in to me, I hate that feeling, it's almost not worth dealing with it.

You know I have tried my damnedest to get together, to grow up, and to be a good person......I'm failing in all the wrong ways.

I have no idea who I am.....I'm so desperate I transform into anything, anybody...just to fit into the occasion......who in the hell am I?

Seriously my stomach hurts.....it hurts so bad!...Guilt knots are physically straining, I dont know what to do anymore, they are wearing me out.

My daughter has a huge knot on her head! How did it get there!......I'm a horrible person, she must have feel or bumped it and I wasn't paying attention, then when she cried I must have ignored her.

I feel like I'm going to throw up.....I'm so sick with myself.

Maybe I should go eat a cookie or some pizza to help relieve my pain.......then I can gain 50 pounds and be even more depressed.....that would make my life just %#@&#! perfect.
I'm so tired.