It's no surprise that Bipolar changes us. I'm still on the roller coaster after almost 10 years of being treatment-resistant. Noone meeting me today would believe I once was a quite stoic, unemotional person, holding everything in. Today I wear my heart on my sleeve and am much more sensitive to others and thanks to years of therapy, have gained keen insight into others. (Ha Ha this insight and judgment goes out the window all too often as it pertains to myself thanks to BP!)

Until last year, I did not realize how angry I was at my BP. Like you, it was hard enough getting little undertanding and support from others, which, by the way, all the more helped me not look at myself, focusing on others' betrayals.

Over time, I got the anger out which let me better accept my BP - that it was not going away and was something I'd have to live with. The best thing I did was to write a letter directly to my BP and really let it out. Some emotions I found were very telling.

So, it took me years to ask: "What are the gifts of my BP?" There are actually many...getting back to that emotional/sensitivity for one. Some things I just wouldn't change even if I could.