I regularly worry about my BP becoming an excuse for me lashing out on my boyfriend, making paranoid assumptions of his behaviours, & for my impulsivity. After discovering I have BP & becoming self aware of my issues, as well as informing my boyfriend, it's almost as if it is a constant factor in everything I do. I get almost ridiculously preoccupied with it, not because I want to take the blame from myself & reflect it onto my illness, but because I want to recognize the patterns & be able to stop myself. However, that's not working as well as I'd like, but I still try. As long as you remember that you are yourself & your disease does not define you, I think it's no longer a scapegoat for you: You still hold the reigns over what you do & how you handle your feelings. But you're allowed a little leeway because you do have a harder time holding onto the reigns & sometimes your hands slip. But that's no reason to beat yourself up...