3o+ yrs ago a "friend" told my mother that I "had more mean & could put away more Scotch whisky per sq in than any man west of the Rio Grande." It wasn't meant as a complaint but offered as an explanation of why I was single. When I gave up alcohol 20 yrs ago, I prayed that the "mean" would be gone with the drinking. But no, now I was Super*****, "more *****iness per square inch than anyone else I know," according to my best friend back then. I tried mass, which I grew to love, but after ten yrs I only spent more time in confession & prayer. I got therapy. Nada. I flipped out, went in the hospital, saw a psychiatrist. Then I found out I was bipolar...and I'm bipolar--not necessarily mean!
After the mood stabilizer had built up in my system, the road rage vanished. The flashes of anger, especially at work, vanished. The little jabs at my friends--no more. Over the weeks, people started to look at me differently.
I do get mean & *****y occasionally, but now it's mostly because something *****y & mean-making has happened--not because someone breathed my air.
I'm not in an intimate relationship now, so I'm not dealing with the sort of physical proximity you are. I think that makes healing a relationship more difficult--but maybe not. Maybe SunAngel's suggestion & the actor's "fake it till you make it" physical exercise will help: Do say you love him in clear words; and Do make a gentle, intentional physical connection--once or twice a day, outside of the bedroom.
The idea is that your tone of voice and quality of touch will take on a private "I love you" sense they may have lost to your dis-ease.