I am a fidgeter too. Usually with my hands. I also talk with my hands . . . a lot. Last week, I had an iced coffee in my hands and I would use the straw to stab the ice at certain times. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking about whether or not I wanted to give my journal to T and I had this nifty bag with me where the handles twist around and around. He definitely had some nonverbal reaction to it but didn't say anything. I look away, out the window, away from his gaze, sometimes when I talk about something difficult. I find it astonishing that when I look back at him, he is looking at me in this calm, centered, kind way. That feels like he is always willing to connect with me when I am ready.

I am quite sure that my T is paying attention to these nonverbal signals. He has talked about how communication is to a large extent nonverbal in a generic way. I have interpreted that as him letting me know that he gets what I'm saying even if I don't say it.

Anne