BP does not define you Morethingswrong. It is just part of who you are. Accepting the diagnoses is difficult, but once you do you can start the road to recovery. I was ashamed when I was first diagnosed but through therapy I gained peace. It is not your fault that you have this disease and yes sometimes we act a certain way because of it. You can choose to do your part in controlling the disease by working with your therapist and pdoc. Take your meds and be honest about what is going on with you, however hard it may be. I'm going on 3 years since I was diagnosed and I still have my ups and downs, but I know it is a process. I also can recognize now when I'm going through a mood and it helps me to battle the things I want to say or do. Don't give up, it will get better .