My dad met 'Tuly' in the late 1970's and she quickly assumed the place of mistress to the twice-married attorney. It didn't matter to Tuly that he was married or had children, as there seemed an abundance of the type of material extravagance she coveted. She had immigrated as a nurse in the late sixties and had set her sites on financial success rather than a traditional family.

Once my dad’s second wife got wind of ‘Tuly’ my dad was headed back to divorce court. She eventually took him to the cleaners; getting real estate, monthly alimony, and a host of assets. He was left a beach cottage two states away, moving further away from his children. He continued the affair with Tuly but maintained to his family it was not love.

By the early 80's he was married again, this time to a fellow commuter. It was a devastating blow to Tuly but eventually she resigned herself to the role of mistress. He proceeded to lead a dual life. My dad remained distant from his children and I guess preferred to spend time with other families in less intimate circumstances. There were no holidays or celebrations of a family nature, rather the kids became alibis for time spent away from wife #3 to be with the mistress.

And so it goes, a couple grand kids show up, there's disastrous prostate surgery, and his family limped along in the epitome of dysfunction. He ended up buying Tuly a small lake house nearby which was perfect for Tuly with a casino a few minutes away. With my dad only able to give half his time she filled her empty hours with gambling. Any vacations centered on casinos and gambling, not museums or art as my dad appeared to enjoy in other travels.

That was pretty much how it went until a devastating blood clot slowed my dad down. He developed a deep vein thrombosis, had octuple bypass surgery and recovered only to have his wife suffer a stroke and need constant care. He quickly moved from the beach house to a maintenance free townhouse. He had been telling me for the past decade I would inherit his property and estate. His wife was moved to a nearby nursing facility where he visits and assists with her personal care; much to the chagrin of Tuly. Within months Tuly moved in, and by my dad’s version to multiple people, it was uninvited. Tuly continued to gamble and invented a whole social structure around this addiction taking my dad with her. His 75th Birthday party was a celebration with blackjack dealers and other scum Tuly had met on floating casinos, all of whom were given the security code to his gated community.

By Christmas 2005, Tuly was decidedly unhappy with the state of affairs. She had her sites set them moving together onto a 5-bedroom estate. Tuly said she would get money to help finance the house and went overseas to sell property. The trip was monetarily unsuccessful as she encountered difficulties with a nephew who refused to sell jointly owned property to fund this venture. This trip included a stop over in Las Vegas in hopes of winning the needed money. Within days of her return my father claimed money was missing from his desktop and his only retort has been to blame me and cease all communication.

My dad was always a generous father and gave his children anything they asked for. Had they asked for money he would have given it freely. His children in return were accepting of his alternative lifestyle and never complained. He was loved honestly with his all his frailties. He gave two of us kids fifty grand each a couple years ago and financed a business for another. He usually gave cash gifts. I had no need to take his money. The money in question was his yearly net from sports betting for the 2005 football season. He kept it right out in the open in the living room by his keyboard with a huge cardboard chart and was eager to tell anyone who would listen of his prowess. He bet regularly on sports, even dragged me to his bookie repeatedly and it's more likely another compulsive gambler stole his money than one of his own children.

Tuly's sister, was scheduled to visit my dad for Christmas while Tuly was away. She had visited on most previous holidays. If she and her family came remains unanswered. If she has a key remains unanswered, my dad refuses to participate in investigating this matter. She generally has multiple immigrant borders that would have had access to any key. She has a daughter who has been to the home many times and usually brings the boyfriend of the moment. Did somebody come to call while he was at the nursing home or office? What about his close friend and associate who embezzled $10,000 from his business. This guy is also a compulsively addicted gambler and a relationship he had recently rekindled in spite of the situation.

What about the maid/secretary, this is one person. She would have been alone with my dad, at home and work and known his patterns while Tuly was away. My dad asserts absolutely nobody else had access to his home for the two week period Tuly was in Thailand. I visited for two nights during this period. If the cleaning lady visits once a week, well you do the math.... My dad won't say if she has a key. At one time there was even an extra taped to the underside of a lawn statue.

Perhaps the money wasn't even stolen and this fabrication was the only way he could manage the ultimatum Tuly gave him to sign his house over to her. The original house he bought her in was a shack when purchased and is so dilapidated it is unsellable and now rented. It's a depressing structure and the last tenant shot himself to death in the bathtub. Tuly desperately wants space for extravagant gambling parties and rooms to rent to family and illegal immigrants. She isn't happy living in a home filled with artifacts from a cultured life with wife #3. She has complained repeatedly about the condo fees being too high and would rather the money be put to good use in a slot machine or for gambling cruises.

My father was always been emotionally distant and immature due to the suicide of his mother when he was three. One logical conclusion seems the money wasn't even missing. This event is far too calculated for any senility defense, it was purposeful and malicious. It is morally bankrupt to abandon a parental relationship in this manner. How did Tuly make his children expendable in her scheme of things? This money wasn't 'missing' until after Tuly got back. He would have noticed the missing money sooner as there were plenty of games to mark up on his chart and bets to place with a bookie. He just ceased all communication January 2, 2006. His daily calls and contact stopped dead in its tracks. Something in his personality changed drastically January 1, 2006 when his mistress returned from and he for all intent purposes ceased being the father and person he was. He's too old to have moved the heavy computer bookcase himself to look for his missing money and didn't make a single inquiry to anyone about his beloved gambling proceeds. He just made an empty, baseless accusation that destroyed many relationships. If he decided he wanted to ‘disinherit’ me, so to speak why didn’t he just say so? Why make up this elaborate conspiracy?

I spent five weeks trying to find out why he ceased all contact. The only return communication was Tuly laughing at me saying he was too busy to come to the phone. I had no idea what the problem was and finally had to call a distant relative only to be informed my dad said I had done something wrong. Five weeks where he made not a single inquiry about his beloved money or a single attempt to look for it. I call and email him daily asking why he did this and still have no response.

I feel so victimized. He has told everyone else now to 'forget the money, we will never ever find out what happened to it'. Why wouldn't he want the source of such angst revealed? It would never be to late to question the unsavory people he has surrounded himself with and never to late for who ever took his money to confess, unless it was never missing in the first place. This will bother me forever.