Similarly to your feelings, when I'm depressed or even mixed, I go through lashing out or just not being able to be pleased - no way, no how. So then I come across as a royal pain *****. My family loves to bring this up now even when I'm OK - which really hurts. I know it's not the "real me."

I share this to say that besides just needing meds help and waiting for an episode to pass, I also realized I kick others when I feel deeply negative within me. It's the "sh--" rolls downhill scenario. So if I look behind my negativitiy I see that it's something I am not happy about with ME. It might be feeling guilting about something I've done, or feeling deeply innadequate. So I lash out at someone else to subconsciously feel better about myself. Funny how the mind works...