Thanks, all, for the kind words and support.

We had another crisis since I posted this. I had a friend coming to town to visit for the weekend. As I was heading out to pick her up at the airport, I called my boyfriend to talk about weekend plans. He said he would come down Saturday (he lives a two-hour drive way) and we could all hang out. He sounded normal and fine. A few minutes later, while I was on the freeway, I got a text message from him saying "I'm going to bash my head into the wall until I'm dead. Thanks for trying." I pulled over and tried to call him. His phone was off. I had a feeling, based on a previous incident, that he wasn't really planning to follow through on the threat, but I didn't want to risk it, so I called his aunt, who lives near to him, and asked if she could go check on him. She did, and he was fine, at least physically. This is the first time I have involved someone else in the situation.

When we talked about it, I told him that this can't continue, that he needs to get into therapy immediately, and that the next time he threatens to harm himself, I'm going to call the police. When I asked him what happened, he said he just started "freaking out" after we got off the phone, thinking about how a few years ago, it would have been a tragedy if he died, because he had potential and talent and a lot of people who cared about him, but now, it just wouldn't matter.

I told him, of course, that that's not true and that it would be a tragedy now if he were gone, and I and a lot of other people would be devastated.

But I am absolutely furious with him for putting me in such a horrible situation at the worst possible time. I don't know if the threat was intended to be manipulative, but it felt that way. And on top of that, I have a lot of built-up resentment about the way he has treated me over the other-guy incident for the past six months -- which increasingly, I realize is not about me but about his untreated depression and other mental health issues. I truly love him and want him to be well. But part of me wants to scream at him, and part of me wants to walk away.

I'm not going to scream at him, but I feel like I need to express my anger to him somehow or I am going to burst. Is there a way to do that with someone who is severely depressed without further destabilizing them?