when he says you have hurt his feelings you might try asking "how?". imo, i'd say, if i have hurt your feelings i'm sorry but it would be helpful if you tell me what i've done to upset you.
on the other hand i believe he enjoys setting you up to hurt you. it's a passive agressive behavior and/or projecting his
own anger at you. i'm no doc but here's why i say this:
Passive-aggressive personality disorder is a long-term (chronic) condition in which a person seems to actively comply with the desires and needs of others, but
actually passively resists them. In the process, the person becomes increasingly hostile and angry.
Symptoms of passive aggressive behavior:
People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. They often use procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.
Some common symptoms of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:
- Acting sullen
- Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
- Being inefficient on purpose
- Blaming others
- Complaining
- Feeling resentment
- Having a fear of authority
- Having unexpressed anger or hostility
- Procrastinating
- Resisting other people's suggestions
A person with this disorder may appear to comply with another's wishes and may even demonstrate enthusiasm for those wishes. However, they:
- Perform the requested action too late to be helpful
- Perform it in a way that is useless
- Sabotage the action to show anger that they cannot express in words , from the NY Times
you're in a no win situation as it stands now in my opinion if i am correct.
i'm quite unsure if he is the great communicator as u state. what you can do constructively is leave the room, get busy or go to the mall. i'd not give him an "audience". when u return and he starts up again i'd leave AGAIN.
and fighting back at him isn't useful.
sorry for the long post.