I thought about getting him involved with a church, but I don't think he's particularly religious. Actually that's one thing that helped my sister in her struggle with alcohol. She just happened to meet up with a very religious woman who made it her mission to help my sister. Literally. My sister's car broke down one day, and she was walking to get help, and this lady pulled over to give her a ride. Then she dragged her to church, found her a job, helped her move, stored her furniture. It's amazing what fate can throw your way.

Back to my son: I was telling my sister this morning that so much depends on what and who you're drawn to. If I were to walk into a room of 20 strangers, I'd somehow end up talking to the guy with a Ph.D. in Slavic linguistics, because I'm drawn to nerdy smart people. My son would find the guy who smokes dope every afternoon. Why is that?

Probably - before I removed him from the mental health center. Lots of people with serious mental illness end up getting services through the county mental health centers. The quality is hit and miss, both from county to county and within any given center. My son received services from our county mhc for several years. No doubt they had some kind of treatment team. The contact person is the case manager. Case managers get their clients hooked up with other services like housing, supported employment, food stamps, etc. It's their business to knows what's available and to help the client access it.

When I decided to support my son's decision to try and reduce or eliminate his reliance on medication, I came into serious conflict with the mhc and we eventually ended up parting ways. I located a therapist and pdoc in private practice whose views are more in line with my own. I think it was a good decision, because these people treat my son with respect and, as I mentioned, he seems to be responding to that respect by forming real therapeutic relationships with them. I strongly believe that my son's chance at healing will come from relationships, not from medication. Medication is a tool. Relationship is health. You can't have a therapeutic relationship with a person you're forcing unwanted treatments on.

Unfortunately the break with the mhc left me in role of de facto case manager. Unlike a real case manager, however, I don't have the training and knowledge - not to mention time! I also have another role here - mom. I know that it's possible to access case management services from the mhc while seeing doctors and therapists in private practice, but I believe you're forced to go to the mhc in your county of residence. Due to the personalities involved, I'd prefer not to do that. Eventually I hope my son will move to a neighboring county - where my job is and where he sees his therapist and pdoc. Maybe then he can get case management in that county.

The social activities available through the county mhc seem to involve gathering together with other people receiving mental health services and visiting WalMart or the grocery store under the supervision of a college student who's been hired by the mhc. Kind of dehumanizing and humiliating. My son, not surprisingly, never wanted to participate, which brought him into more conflict with the powers-that-be.