Tsunami: I was going to message you back last night, but it actually got REALLY bad. Like, the worst it's ever been. I just took my pain medication early in the day & evidently it triggered me into severe psychotic mania.
During the day, I felt the most normal I've been in months. Optimistic, but not overly so, & finally out of the depression I had suffered for 2 weeks now. Then, as soon as night fell & my boyfriend woke up (& I have NEVER had "hallucinations" in front of him before), it all started in.
Perceptory distortions as well as true hallucinations. The lightbulb's buzzing sounded like a bee was in the house & I spent 10 minutes looking for it & cowering. It sounded like there was a train speeding through my head & another time like there was a bull stomping & snorting behind me (the bull was actually the coffee pot). I layed down on the couch, but I saw shadows around me & felt like I was on an operating table...
It was also the first time I've ever had really paranoid delusions, as well. I'm up on the 17th floor of a building, but for some reason, I was convinced that people could see right through the windows at what I was doing & criticize me. I felt like I was in serious danger. And for some reason, I had this pervasive fear that I was going to choke on my tongue & die in my sleep.
All of that happened in the same half hour. I had to take a Benadryl, lay down in bed, & put some music on to get me to sleep as soon as possible. Jesus. But all is well today, thus far, & at least the medication worked to keep my pain away today.