So a couple of months back I had a really bad night and ended up SI'ing pretty bad... way worse than normal. I should have gotten stitches but didn't want to go into the ER and explain what happened. After a couple of weeks I ended up making an appt with my family doctor and told her what happened because I was getting shooting pains where I had SI'ed (it wasn't infected or anything though). Turns out I have a keloid scar (which is when the scar tissue grows out and around the cut).... sounds worse than it is.

Anyhow, I've got an appt with a dermatologist on Wednesday this week to get them to look at it for "treatment" options. I'm getting pretty nervous ... I'm assuming my Dr told them what happened in her referral, but I'm scared they're going to make me re-live what happened again - and I've been good with no SI since that night. I'm also scared that if they do a biopsy (one treatment possibility) that it will act as a trigger.

My depression is under better control than it has been in the past, but I still find myself drawn to SI ... I don't even know why, its just like having the option to do it gives me some sort of power or something, does anyone else ever experience this?

Thanks all...
Jacq