it seems the big thing here and what is making it so hard is that ... this is the very deepest part of you; not an insider but a part of you who has maybe not had a voice or been allowed to feel or express for a very long time? and the options are ... to try to run and hide from that part of you and lock away those feelings and hurt (which can cause more hurt but in our minds can feel safer) or to somehow jump in and look further with your T's help and support

you already worked out the possible reasons for erasing so that doesn't seem like the issue more about what it touched?