Thanks side stepper, rose and jd.
Yeah about two or three moths ago i wag trying to find a legal way for smoking weed and my boyfriend brought to my attention nicely and subtle that i didn't want meds from a doc but i was trying to self medicate (my boyfriend really thinks i maybe bipolar with how my mood swings are but like me i think maybe too but we aren't any docs so will find out i guess in time). I see what he was saying but still i don't want to just take meds not even right off the bat,
Yeah and about hard wire into the brain about past things and trying to make one better i totally agree with.
I'm glad to hear about the brain and memories. I just hope they don't try to push towards my dad being bad, i sort of got that feeling with the screener i told him in my heart i don't think or believe our dad hurt us besides with his form of disaplin which i tried to reason on why he chose that way idk i never thought my dad was a bad person. Though i have tried to connect the dots cuz my oldest brother wasn't just born this way for what he did. One time my other bro my good bro lets say said that our oldest cousin had his hands in it too with being in part of stuff with the older children. This cousin is quit a bit older think he's like 15 year older or more than i. Idk i get mixed with how i "feel" i was asked did i feel there was more than one abuser. I said i don't think so? Sometimes i do remember even before my good bro said anything how i'd be around my cousins like not wanting to go to them and stickin with my sister on holidays and visits. I don't want to remember stuff isn't one or two good enough? Idk i didn't like that it was simi suggested about my dad, when i told my boyfriend this if said he couldn't say anything really cause he doesn't know it all. Idk what that means exactly, my dad may not had been the best but he did try in life, he may had drank too much but was working all the time for his family. I don't like having the shred of doubt in my mind about this either. Thanks all thou