thanks everyonei just need to breathe.i need to step away and pull myself out of this hole .i know i did this to myself and i need to give this mindfulness another chance.i was just not me today it was a bad time to try this and i just set it up to fail.i know i want help to figure out what happened and how to do this but tonight i need to just breathe big time.i am feeling down but refuse to let it make me quit.