My T's hug today was disappointing. I think she was trying to show me how she usually hugs clients. It was a planned hug, at my request after I asked why it's all right to touch and hug. I asked her if hugging me was "icky" for her and she said no. That made me feel better. But the hug was not satisfying, and she told me that holding hands was better for me.

I think if I was in distress and needed a hug, it would feel better. A hug good-bye would still be nice. At least it didn't feel icky to me this time because it was so short I don't even remember it!

earthmamma, what you say is thought-provoking. I think there's a lot of truth in it, especially after my feeling disppointed with the hug today. It's not so much about the hug but about being accepted by my T no matter how "icky" I think I am. I like that about wanting someone who isn't afraid of your desires and can talk through them.