It's not that i don't deserve compliments, it's that they make me extremely uncomfortable. I know that i have good qualities..I'm smart funny etc. It's just that i am not a very nice person....what i mean by that is i am irritable and moody, i snap at people...yell at them...fantasize about harming them....that's not what nice people do...so...maybe i could change that to...i am a good person but i don't treat people nicely when i am depressed.
I am sure there is something he does love about me...we have been married for 7 years, but it is pretty ****** that he chose to say because i "used" to be nice. I'm not sure if it's brain washing...is it helpful?...no...is it hurtful?...yes...but maybe i do need to be hurt...so i can feel uncomfortable about how i treat people...and make a change.....god knows when i am comfortable i refuse to change.

I really appreciate your reply, even if i dont agree fully i think it's nice that you took the time to reply, and I'm really thankful that you seem to genuinely care about my situation, so thank you.