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As Sunna said, there are no perfect relationships. It is very rare for a couple not to have sexual issues to some degree. So this is not unique to your relationship. I am truly sorry that you are going through this but it is fixable. Honest communication will fix this. “It hurts my feelings when…” “I would feel more desired if…”
As to your questions about how your girlfriend could still be shy or insecure with you after a year. Lord have mercy! There are things that are still sexual issues that are extremely difficult for my husband and I to discuss and we have been married for 25 years! I love him and trust him more than anyone in the world. But when it comes to sexuality, we are hesitant because we don’t want to hurt our partner’s feelings. And hearing about it certainly makes us sensitive.
Sexual issues are fixable, but when there are hard feelings or resentment that will bleed over to every aspect of your life. If you hear (regardless of what was said) that your partner is not enjoying sex with you, you tend to be a little more sensitive to the little things.
The game you’re playing waiting for her to initiate sex is hurting you both. If that’s what you want to do that is fine, just remember you cannot be angry with her for the lack of sex when you haven’t made an attempt. What I am saying is sounds like you are playing the mind reading game. Inferring things that are not necessarily true, and expecting her to know things that she may not.
You can be right or you can be happy. To be happy you do whatever you can to establish the healthiest, happiest relationship you can.
On a side note, try teaching her how you would rather be touched. Maybe previous partners like to be touched that way. Good Luck!
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I've been married for 24 years and have four wonderful children.
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