I have to keep writing about my T because I can't keep it all inside of me, and I don't know what else to do. I could draw or write a poem, maybe. I don't know. I have many distractions but the feelings for my T are taking over, not in a necessarily bad way, but as tree said, the feelings are BIG.

Another time this happened, when I had to write on a piece of paper "you looked too good". I don't want this in the romantic subforum; it's not like that--or is it? When I walked in my session yesterday--was it ONLY yesterday, seems like ages ago--and I looked at her, I felt like I was "in love" with her, but not in an inappropriate way. I can't even verbalize how I felt without making it sound wrong. It felt right!

I was on edge the whole session because of her "little trip"--she'll be back tomorrow night and she knew that. But when she looks so cuddly (she didn't look so thin or else it didn't matter to me) like that I just want to melt into her arms. That's why the hug was so disappointing. I wanted it to last and last! But it was good enough just to sit there in the session and talk about being self-conscious at age 12. It didn't matter what we talked about.

Holding her hand felt so safe. I know I'm repeating myself from my other thread. Sorry I'm obsessing; no one has to read all this. Does it need a trigger? How could I feel so good holding T's hand? I don't why I told her I felt like my heart was breaking. I'm someone ELSE in therapy with her--not me at all. Who am I??????