I'm not sure that I would call what you described being "codependent". Our children are dependent upon us for 18 years (in some ways, forever). Their dependency on us parents requires a lot of give and take with our ex, to try to make the experience as painless as possible for the children and not traumatic.

That said, you should make your personal life as balanced as you can. Make a schedule of days available to spend with your children (and hours) and be upfront with your ex. You are available on X dates, not others. If she isn't available on your days away, then you need to try to come up with alternatives that you both can agree with.

Financial part is often stressful for both sides, unless you're both well-off! Coming up with half of the money for daycare, babysitting fees, pre-school, etc is given. Adding back to school clothes, fees, and food does add up. If income levels are low, you may want to apply for reduced fee meals for your children. There are resources available to help children coming from low-income families.

I don't know whether the above applies to you or not ~ it is my personal experience that has helped me through divorce and split custody of our 2 children.

Best wishes to you!