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Aug 30, 2011, 09:19 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: Muskegon, MI
Posts: 64
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Hi - I'm just wondering if I'm insensitive or what.....I have severe depression and many other health issues. My Mom has been in Assisted Living for a year now and suffers from moderate to servere Alzherimer's. We (my Dad and I) have to move her to a nursing home next month due to finances. She never wanted to go to a nursing home...NEVER. We have no choice.
My Dad is 80 and not in good health. He is very depressed and heartbroken that he has lost the person he loves...sometimes she knows him, sometimes she doesn't. She really is no longer with us, only physically. I'm afraid that all of this stress and his physical health will kill him before long.
Now me....I am so sad about my parents and the lot life has dealt them. They lost a daughter early in their lifetime...she was 9. I had hoped they would be able to enjoy their life together after my Dad retired, but everything fell apart about that time. As sad as I feel, at the same time, I just DON'T feel. I just can't explain it. Is it denial? I don't care about anything. I don't help my Dad as I should. He doesn't eat right and I'm not making meals as I should to make sure he does. I sleep most of the day if I am able to. My room is a mess, my paperwork is in a million different places...I just don't care--but at the same time I do. It's like I'm feeling like I'm not feeling. Does anyone else feel that way. I feel guilty to feel that way....yet feeling guilty is a feeling....so I am feeling -- I just don't know what's going on. Why am I terrified about my parent's circumstances and what is going to happen to me when they are gone...I will be all alone. Still, I can't let any of these emotions out. Does any of this make sense? I don't know...I just don't know what to do or how to feel.....
Blessings~
__________________
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
-- Author Unknown --
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