I used to do insane things & get incredibly furious at everyone around me, but I never told people, so they all just thought I was an asshole. I'd prefer being called that than being discredited due to what's going on in my head.
But right now, I actually have the opposite of your problem. I go out of my mind & my boyfriend is incredibly understanding, but for some reason I have a hard time accepting it. Feeling like I should be taking a lot more accountibility for causing stress & confusion as a result of my behaviour... Perhaps, being untreated, that is too much of an expectation of me? I just prefer to be independent & responsible for myself, even the stupid things I do.
I wish I knew what to tell you. But honestly, the only thing I know how to do with people who don't accept me is just leave them to the wayside. If they don't want to accept me or if they have a problem with me that they harbor, I don't see a reason to keep bothering them with it or wasting my time with trying to convince them that I'm not a POS due to my diagnosis.
I hope you feel relief soon, as well as hopefully getting your alcoholism under control so you can think clearer... Isn't it bad to drink with anticonvulsants? I know I took a shot after having Neurontin in my system 6 hours prior & I still felt incredibly woozy/disoriented. Take care of yourself.