I'm sorry to hear about your losing Jessica. It sounds like you two had a very special connection, and losing her at such an early age would have been particularly hard on you and everyone who knew her.

I understand that you want to find a girl that was just like Jessica, and as long as you are not trying to create another Jessica, I don't think that's a bad thing. You know you can't make another Jessica out of Mandy or any other person. But the things that you found attractive in Jessica, the traits that you admire and wish to find in a partner, are also there in Mandy. Those are common desires in a partner - kindness, empathy, intelligence, good sense of humor - and wanting those things is natural for anyone.

We all have a tendency to compare our current relationship against previous relationships and decide what we will and will not tolerate, what we do and do not like about people. It is a process of learning. So thankfully, Mandy seems to be the type of girl that is a good fit for you, and maybe you can thank your relationship with Jessica for teaching you that. It's good that you had such a positive early experience with relationships.

As for the slip of the tongue... it happens. It happens to people in equally innocent, and even less powerful circumstances. I've done it. I've had boyfriends do it to me. Our brains naturally associate certain situations or circumstances to those we have experienced before, and with the longstanding relationship you had with Jessica, it's natural that, even though you love Mandy for who she is, your brain can't help associating that wonderful feeling with the feeling you had for such a long time with someone else. When we have lost a person, their name becomes the name of a feeling in our minds, as well as all the other wonderful things they meant as a person. I'm sure that people who have lost spouses sometimes do the same thing. The relationship didn't end with a breakup, it ended in a place where both of you were happy. That's something that's very hard to let go of.

So in a way, Mandy is complimented by the fact that you don't associate anything negative with her. I had a boyfriend who would call me by his X's name when we got into a fight because he was so used to fighting with her. Yours is a much more positive association that shows how much respect, admiration, and appreciation you have for Mandy.

All that means is that Mandy has filled a hole in your heart, but not the hole left by Jessica's passing. She fills the hole where a good partner should fit. You haven't felt this for a long time. Enjoy it, and know that you deserve it, and don't be hard on yourself. Make sure that Mandy knows how special she is to you, and she will understand.