Well, that was an interesting ride!

I am the part that is typically out and I just got back out this morning so... obviously there was some serious parts stuff going on yesterday! Enough of the day was shared with me that I don't feel as though I lost a day but it is very very jumbled. Being able to read "my" post in the psychotherapy forum has been rather helpful.

A long time ago I talked to T about being DID and she said that she didn't work with parts, it was "too messy". I was OK with her not working with parts as I had other goals and the DID is pretty well managed. I did trigger and get really upset over being called messy.

A few sessions back T said she wanted to start seeing the real me rather than working with me intellectually to do our work. Not too long after that session the little one (Elestial) came out with massage T who does work with parts. I think the pressure had been building since the session with T for the parts to come out. I had been put in a double bind of "be yourself" and "I don't work with parts" and I think yesterday we reached our limit.

I am watching the "movie" of the session yesterday through many eyes and it is hard to understand a story being told from that many perspectives all at the same time. We are almost always out in pairs. Yesterday Elestial was the lead part but I don't know who was out with her.

If I am putting the pieces together right a deal was made between T and the system to work together as long as the boundaries were clear (which I think for T means not being "messy").

Elestial was an odd choice of parts to go out first as she is SO phobic of the outside world. She is however one of the easiest to tell apart from me.

As I type I see they are taking on names again. We haven't used names in a long time because it got too dangerous.

And so the adventure begins...

I hope you guys don't mind us talking things out here. We find outside feedback helpful and the one person who isn't a therapist out here that we have to talk to is moving out of state. And the only cat that will listen without wandering off for food or falling asleep is Deaf.