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Old Aug 31, 2011, 04:00 PM
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Visioneer Visioneer is offline
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Member Since: May 2007
Posts: 269
What he's doing doesn't seem to be sexual in intent, though it is sexual in origin. This type of behaviour is him exerting control over you by disrespecting your wishes and making you feel unsafe, knowing that you can't stop him from doing it. It's also a way for him to put you down in a manner that will make you feel guilty and as though you are in the wrong by not allowing him to do whatever he wants to you whenever he wants.

This control issue might spill over into other areas of your life, I'm assuming since he has been abusive in the past it already has, and he could get bolder by knowing he can get away with what amounts to sexual harassment and assault in his own home. Love does not do this, dragonflybug. He's enjoying making you feel that you are not safe in your own home and secure in your own body, and making you feel bad for it.

Be very careful. I suggest you talk to a counselor about this and find someone who can back you up on this, so that you understand you are not doing anything wrong by asking him to respect your wishes for personal space and your body. If he shows no sign of remorse or willingness to change his behaviour, you know what you can expect in the future. Please get help, and help yourself. Don't stand in front of the fist and hope it will change its mind about hitting you. You don't have to go through this, you do not deserve it, and it is not your fault that he chooses to do bad things. That is his responsibility. You can only be responsible for yourself, and do what is best for your daughter. As she gets older, your relationship with your husband will be an example to her. You have the opportunity to show her that she doesn't have to put up with that kind of treatment either.
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