My son and I have had two or three really good conversations over the last few days. I've been worried that he doesn't see that there's a problem, that he just has to get off the meds and he'll be fine. I'm realizing, though, that he does know there are challenges ahead. He's talked about his fears that he'll do some of the irrational things he did in the past - like giving his car away or quitting his job. He's afraid he'll get his life put back together and then blow it.

He's also tried to explain some of the experiences he had in psychosis. I really don't get it no matter how hard I try. It's beyond me. He tried to explain how he arrives at a delusional thought. He'll imagine something like what if my friend D.J. were here right now? What would he do? What would he say? Then somehow he gets confused about what really did happen and what he imagined.

He also said he's never actually "heard" voices or "seen" hallucinations. He just imagines these things, then ... frankly, I'm not clear on the concept past that. I don't understand why he gets so distressed, why can't he un-imagine them? And why did he say he saw and heard hallucinations if he didn't?

He said he was sad that I don't understand him. He says his new therapist would understand what he was trying to say - which is probably true, but she's been working with people who experience psychosis for many years. This is all new to me.

Anyway I'm glad he's talking to me about it.