Hey everyone ~
thanks for the responses everyone.. I am glad I saw my T today .. I still wanted to pull the covers up over my head and just hide .. so in a way being forced to leave the house was probably a good thing . My husband was all snappy at me before I left and I thought it had to do with me telling him I could drive myself today ( somedays I know I shouldnt drive due to mood or lack of sleep etc) so silly me texted him and tried to explain that today I really was fine to drive ,, His reply had nothing to do with my text but brought up some SI issues and he apparently knew I had done the nite before .. Anyway ,,the only reason I mention it is ,, I know its wrong what I do and I certainly dont expect him to understand it ( yes My T knows all about it)..But I think he can "hate it" but not hate me or threaten divorce like he did when I got home from T today .. I did tell him I was sorry for letting him down and the fact that I hate myself when Ido this also ...... he did apologize later . and hes still mad as hell about it so things will be tense around here for a while like it usally is.......but still ....GOD knows I have enought self worth issues .... Im just Miserable and knowing myself like I do Im sure I'm going to beat the hell out of myself for days or longer over this ...

My T and I have been working on my self worth issues but nothing is sticking ,, I find some good stuff while sitting in T's office but by the time I get home I'm already picking apart what we found thats good and somehow turning it to a neagtive ..

Soooooo frustration !!!
Cant I just catch a damn break ?

Sorry had to whine/vent/rant

Wishing you all some Peace and Love~